no longer do i keep you in my mind
but on occasion you drop from time to time
never thoughts of how you were mine
just well wishes that all is fine
while speculations might say i cocked the nine
ive moved on while that sits behind...
it would be nice to hear that you were doing good
but you sit in silence as you should
never was our intent to be apart
but its necessary for us to regain a heart
empty and bitter from what had been
now fresh and ready with a high held chin
no plans nor directions for what is yet to be
but it is certain that i will live and i will do it happily
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wrappin It Up
have you ever had one of those days that at the end of it all you couldnt be more pleased with how it went? like you just feel like saying "fuck today was sufficient" haha or maybe in different words. but anyway, today was one of those days for me. i was with kickback chill ass heads, there was no drama, i threw snowballs up in the mountains like there was no tomorrow, had a little cook out, and ended it all with a hot ass bath becuase it was pretty damn cold. now the only thing i could ask for is some hot cocoa, a blanket, some snacks, and a movie to watch. and ya know, maybe even toss in a partner to enjoy it with ;] hahah just sayin.
sooo twothousandhate is drawing to an end. and thank goodness for that bkus for me, this year was a bitch! mass amounts of growth have been made on my part though, and for that i am thankful. for some reason i am extremely excited for 09. ive never really been big on new years and a new start but with all thats happened these past few months little or big, i truly believe there is no where to go but up from here. some things that im looking forward to are: further discovering myself, dancing with HiFi LV/*groove/any stage near you, appreciating and enjoying friendships, meeting new people, testing career ideas, and living everyday like its my last.
ive never been the type to regret anything i do because i know any event that happens is a necessary experience in my growth as an individual; but ive decided that from 09 till infinity there is no more room for hate and anger, no time to regret, no tolerance for pain inflicted by others, no more unappreciated efforts within relationships, (friends and lovers included)(each part sold separately.hah) and no more wasting of my energy in things that bottom line dont make me happy. this next year is going to be about good vibes, positive people, staying happy, and being there for the ones i love............and oh yes, there will be money=D and lots of it!!!
everyone have a safe and happy new year, esp. for my fellow vegas heads because we all know just how insane it can get in this town =] holler for 2009 weenies!
sooo twothousandhate is drawing to an end. and thank goodness for that bkus for me, this year was a bitch! mass amounts of growth have been made on my part though, and for that i am thankful. for some reason i am extremely excited for 09. ive never really been big on new years and a new start but with all thats happened these past few months little or big, i truly believe there is no where to go but up from here. some things that im looking forward to are: further discovering myself, dancing with HiFi LV/*groove/any stage near you, appreciating and enjoying friendships, meeting new people, testing career ideas, and living everyday like its my last.
ive never been the type to regret anything i do because i know any event that happens is a necessary experience in my growth as an individual; but ive decided that from 09 till infinity there is no more room for hate and anger, no time to regret, no tolerance for pain inflicted by others, no more unappreciated efforts within relationships, (friends and lovers included)(each part sold separately.hah) and no more wasting of my energy in things that bottom line dont make me happy. this next year is going to be about good vibes, positive people, staying happy, and being there for the ones i love............and oh yes, there will be money=D and lots of it!!!
everyone have a safe and happy new year, esp. for my fellow vegas heads because we all know just how insane it can get in this town =] holler for 2009 weenies!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
What Would You Do
if you knew that the next full room of people that you walked into would have twice as many eyes looking at you, and behind those eyes everyone was assuming the same exact thing?
or if you knew your life would never be the same based off things you have no control over?
or maybe even if you became paranoid to turn the next corner in fear of what could be waiting for you?....
life isnt always as forgiving as we wish it was. as much as we wish we were in complete control, we arent. things happen for a reason and its always going to lead you into the next phase. we are given choices on the daily but whatever we decide will ALWAYS be right because its made to lead us to our ultimate fate. even if we get cut deep, we have to keep pushing for tomorrow; when its time, the bleeding will eventually stop and the wounds will heal. so how do you deal with the pain that life throws you?....
you walk into that room with a humble heart and an understanding that you cant help what others think. keep your head up no matter how hard it is to deal.
you trust that life, fate, and God most of all, will comfort you and guide you through tough times. there is nothing negative about change, because change is growth.
you wake up and realize that there will always be a surprise around the corner and instead of being scared and fighting it, embrace it and never forget the lesson you were meant to learn.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things i cannot change;
the courage to change the things i can;
and the wisdom to know the difference."
or if you knew your life would never be the same based off things you have no control over?
or maybe even if you became paranoid to turn the next corner in fear of what could be waiting for you?....
life isnt always as forgiving as we wish it was. as much as we wish we were in complete control, we arent. things happen for a reason and its always going to lead you into the next phase. we are given choices on the daily but whatever we decide will ALWAYS be right because its made to lead us to our ultimate fate. even if we get cut deep, we have to keep pushing for tomorrow; when its time, the bleeding will eventually stop and the wounds will heal. so how do you deal with the pain that life throws you?....
you walk into that room with a humble heart and an understanding that you cant help what others think. keep your head up no matter how hard it is to deal.
you trust that life, fate, and God most of all, will comfort you and guide you through tough times. there is nothing negative about change, because change is growth.
you wake up and realize that there will always be a surprise around the corner and instead of being scared and fighting it, embrace it and never forget the lesson you were meant to learn.
"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things i cannot change;
the courage to change the things i can;
and the wisdom to know the difference."
Sunday, December 21, 2008
The Man Of My Dreams
is someone i have not met yet. hah but i can sure as hell tell you what i would like for him to be like...
first of all, if i have just met homeboy and already he's trying to refer to me as "baby, mami, sweetheart, etc." i will immediately be disappointed. you automatically fail in the first impression category, so if you know whats best for you, dont even go there with me. or with any girl for that matter...
moving along... i dont need a super smart straight A's havin dude, just someone who knows whats up with more in depth conversation. if you dont know how to make our conversation go beyond cars, weed, shoes, clothes, parties, or anything else hype related i WILL mark you down as a friend and that is where you will remain until i see more. that shits cool n all, and i dont mind hearing about your hobbies and interests, but what i really want to know is where your mind set is at. where are you trying to take your life, what moves are you planning to make, what is your take on life in general. this guy MUST be able to get on that level, and hopefully surpass mine. freal (for + real. fyi.) goals, striving for more, and ambition is def part of the perfect package...
now for the question that so many people think of the most, "do looks matter?" OBVIOUSLY im not going to get down with no quasi motto lookin foo, but i can honestly say no, they do not matter. and now you say in your head "yea right" hah im not kidding though, and i have proof. the last person i was serious with was in no way cute or attractive to me whatsoever! no lie! I would even tell him that! hahah but the thing that gets me is the personality. if you come correct and on point, its all down hill for me. i will be so beyond dunnzo over you. hah this personality usually includes ill conversation, witty jokes for days, and true to heart values. i dont need you to drive me around in your car, i have two legs and a bus pass. i dont need you to pay for everything, i had my own back before you were ever around. but what i do need is someone that knows how to keep it cool with me and just stay down. thats it.
but please dont take this as an open invitation all you blog lurkers out there hah. this is just what i think the ideal guy should be like. i dont plan on meeting him and i am in no way trying to. this kind of thing cant be forced or pressed for time, when its meant to happen it will. all i know is, when i do meet him i'll know its the real deal; this man wont try to run game and impress me, because he was already dope.
first of all, if i have just met homeboy and already he's trying to refer to me as "baby, mami, sweetheart, etc." i will immediately be disappointed. you automatically fail in the first impression category, so if you know whats best for you, dont even go there with me. or with any girl for that matter...
moving along... i dont need a super smart straight A's havin dude, just someone who knows whats up with more in depth conversation. if you dont know how to make our conversation go beyond cars, weed, shoes, clothes, parties, or anything else hype related i WILL mark you down as a friend and that is where you will remain until i see more. that shits cool n all, and i dont mind hearing about your hobbies and interests, but what i really want to know is where your mind set is at. where are you trying to take your life, what moves are you planning to make, what is your take on life in general. this guy MUST be able to get on that level, and hopefully surpass mine. freal (for + real. fyi.) goals, striving for more, and ambition is def part of the perfect package...
now for the question that so many people think of the most, "do looks matter?" OBVIOUSLY im not going to get down with no quasi motto lookin foo, but i can honestly say no, they do not matter. and now you say in your head "yea right" hah im not kidding though, and i have proof. the last person i was serious with was in no way cute or attractive to me whatsoever! no lie! I would even tell him that! hahah but the thing that gets me is the personality. if you come correct and on point, its all down hill for me. i will be so beyond dunnzo over you. hah this personality usually includes ill conversation, witty jokes for days, and true to heart values. i dont need you to drive me around in your car, i have two legs and a bus pass. i dont need you to pay for everything, i had my own back before you were ever around. but what i do need is someone that knows how to keep it cool with me and just stay down. thats it.
but please dont take this as an open invitation all you blog lurkers out there hah. this is just what i think the ideal guy should be like. i dont plan on meeting him and i am in no way trying to. this kind of thing cant be forced or pressed for time, when its meant to happen it will. all i know is, when i do meet him i'll know its the real deal; this man wont try to run game and impress me, because he was already dope.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Cookies Of Fortune
So today was pretty much filled with laundry, TV, and cold toes. The heater can be on blast in my house but my feet never fail to freeze! And can i just give it up to Vegas for getting some snow up in this bitch?! but anyways, after eating Thai food with this one Jedi Knight i know i received a fortune cookie that reads as follows:
"A romantic mystery will soon add interest to your life."
awww isnt that sweet? -__- haha but thanks to that sliver of paper, i have been inspired to write a little about relationships. so if you care to read, then boys take notes and girls peep game...
One part of a relationship that is retardedly important is the foundation. you cannot come straight out the gate on shaky ground. expectations should be made clear and the height at which each individual holds their standards should never be lowered, not even for a moment. once the bars are lowered the relationship loses its integrity and its a struggle to hold on because unacceptable things were allowed to slide. if something is allowed once, it will more than likely be allowed to happen again.
Honesty is a necessity. the truth doesnt hurt, it kills, but it is better to keep it real than to lie to someone you care for. this also includes telling the whole story and not leaving out details to cover your ass. there is no such thing as a half truth, that is what normal people call lying. if you messed up, its best to just own up to your actions and hope for the best.
TRUST. if this is not thee biggest killer to most, if not all relationships then i dont know what is. at the beginning of a relationship everyones all excited, the butterflies are still running a mock, trumpets are playing and then....someone slips up. whatever stupid reason it is, there is no more trust and shits hitting the fan left and right. now at this point you can either call it quits, or you can forgive them and move on. if you should choose to move on, then that means you WILL NOT hold the past against them and they regain your trust. so stick to your word dammit! stop accusing each other of things that you think might be happening, dont make that "you cant party without me" rule, and dont even think about searching through text messages. just accept that not everyone is perfect and mistakes will happen. without trust you cannot move on and there will be no growth.
yup, thats pretty much all i have to offer for now. nothing you didnt already know, just some thoughts. and on a much lighter note, if you have not seen this video already, enjoy it. =]
"A romantic mystery will soon add interest to your life."
awww isnt that sweet? -__- haha but thanks to that sliver of paper, i have been inspired to write a little about relationships. so if you care to read, then boys take notes and girls peep game...
One part of a relationship that is retardedly important is the foundation. you cannot come straight out the gate on shaky ground. expectations should be made clear and the height at which each individual holds their standards should never be lowered, not even for a moment. once the bars are lowered the relationship loses its integrity and its a struggle to hold on because unacceptable things were allowed to slide. if something is allowed once, it will more than likely be allowed to happen again.
Honesty is a necessity. the truth doesnt hurt, it kills, but it is better to keep it real than to lie to someone you care for. this also includes telling the whole story and not leaving out details to cover your ass. there is no such thing as a half truth, that is what normal people call lying. if you messed up, its best to just own up to your actions and hope for the best.
TRUST. if this is not thee biggest killer to most, if not all relationships then i dont know what is. at the beginning of a relationship everyones all excited, the butterflies are still running a mock, trumpets are playing and then....someone slips up. whatever stupid reason it is, there is no more trust and shits hitting the fan left and right. now at this point you can either call it quits, or you can forgive them and move on. if you should choose to move on, then that means you WILL NOT hold the past against them and they regain your trust. so stick to your word dammit! stop accusing each other of things that you think might be happening, dont make that "you cant party without me" rule, and dont even think about searching through text messages. just accept that not everyone is perfect and mistakes will happen. without trust you cannot move on and there will be no growth.
yup, thats pretty much all i have to offer for now. nothing you didnt already know, just some thoughts. and on a much lighter note, if you have not seen this video already, enjoy it. =]
First And Foremost
the creation of this madness was brought to you by miss daffodil gamayon herself. i have no idea what im doing, and im sure i'll get better at this as time goes on....or not, who knows. i was inspired to write earlier but debating what the hell the title of all this shit was going to be ended my fun real quick. i dont know whos going to read this, or why they would do that to themselves but heres what you should expect....
1. nonsense and lots of it along with piles of more useless information
2. hate posts on things that annoy the hell out of me
3. the occasional poetry and feelings of yours truly
4. grammatical errors, some because i cant spell, and some because i dont care.
with that being said, for my first subject i would like to further promote my christmas list on the internet in hopes that santa will hook it the fuck up!
-my own army of storm troopers, hence the url
-5x5 rubics cube (not kidding)
-large blue slurpee
-black on black pocket knife
more to come...
welllllll yea. there you have it. a whole lot of nothing and at least 5 minutes of your life wasted. holler!!! =D
1. nonsense and lots of it along with piles of more useless information
2. hate posts on things that annoy the hell out of me
3. the occasional poetry and feelings of yours truly
4. grammatical errors, some because i cant spell, and some because i dont care.
with that being said, for my first subject i would like to further promote my christmas list on the internet in hopes that santa will hook it the fuck up!
-my own army of storm troopers, hence the url
-5x5 rubics cube (not kidding)
-large blue slurpee
-black on black pocket knife
more to come...
welllllll yea. there you have it. a whole lot of nothing and at least 5 minutes of your life wasted. holler!!! =D
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